Mini Dispatch from NaNoWriMo

[Cross-blogged for Leland Quarterly]

A brief dispatch while scrabbling out of the pit-o’-behindness.

Things I would do to my NaNoWriMo novel if I were appeasing public demand (a.k.a. my friends’ wishes):
  • Change the setting so that my readers don’t read dialogue in their heads with horrible, over-the-top French accents
  • Take all the male characters’ shirts off for all scenes
  • Revise the male protagonist from a lean, dark-haired Frenchman to Thor
  • Increase the number of intense stares, preferably having some turn into hot, steamy love scenes
  • Relatedly, turn this into a dime store romance novel
  • Narrate all the fight scenes as if I were a sports announcer
  • Add immense, fire-breathing dragons
  • Make every character flamboyantly gay and end the novel with a fiesta of gay marriages
  • Include a prologue/epilogue that simply reads, “This novel is an allegory for the military career of George S. Patton.”

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