Poor choices of soccer stars regarding hair

As promised…

1. The Headband

This phenomenon came to my attention during the US vs. Slovenia match last week. In my Google image searching, found this blog post on headbands. Not sure if I agree with the assertions therein, but at least I know I’m not the only one who thinks that the headband really does not work on some people.

Case in point: Slovenian striker Milivoje Novakovic (photo taken from ESPN)

I had a lot of trouble finding a photo of him and his headband, because maybe I’m the only person in the world who cares about what he does with his hair, but THIS IS REALLY NOT OKAY.

2. The 90’s Boyband Look

Does this phenomenon require a definition?

Becks rocks the frosted tips

Admittedly this phenomenon isn’t that bad, it just makes me think of the Backstreet Boys. Plus, bonus points in the positive direction for practicality — the 90’s boyband look does not cause distraction/annoyance during play unless of course the player doesn’t want to mess up his hair.

Cristiano Ronaldo: "LOOK AT ME I'M SO PRETTY!!!"

(As a side note: I will admit that Ronaldo is talented and pretty hot, but he is SO ANNOYING. Whiny little–)

All in all, I’d still say the 90’s boyband look is a poor choice, but as with all these hairstyles, who are we to control what a footballer does with his hair?

3. Things I have no words for

Namely this.

OH GOD WHY DONOVAN WHY!?

Maybe this is still kind of a 90’s boyband look, but just — I can’t look at this anymore.

Let’s keep in mind that Landon Donovan was young and impressionable at the time, a wee 19 years old when he played in the 2001 MLS All-Star game. Indeed, this was when this happened (I was a wee 11 years old and while my brother just shook his head, I laughed my head off).

Hahahaha

Forgive the tangent here, but while Donovan’s hair improved (likely he came to his senses as his hairline started receding… Landon Donovan, your current hairstyle has my seal of approval), he set forth to further embarrass himself in front of cameras.

I -- Donovan, what are you doing?!

For what reason are you throwing this attempted sultry look at the camera? I have plenty of respect for you on the pitch (all non-American/proper terminology for this sport is creeping into my brain) but this is dropping my opinion of you. And then —

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DONOVAN? WHAT IS ON YOUR HEAD? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?

Okay, so really maybe I am more endeared by all your promotional photo antics, but you are not making a good case for US soccer…

I’m done now.

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